there is nothing right. just wrong.

its going to be a trying wk. its really building up. everything i do seems to be wrong and i'm being forced to ignore things i don't want to ignore. i really don't know what to do, up to the extent of not doing anything for fear of doing anything wrong. i can wake up from my sleep and immediately do something wrong. even sleep itself is a wrong thing to start with. talking is wrong. not talking is also wrong. tuition was so wrong just now, but i couldn't tell anyone about it.

i can't look for consolation for myself, for i know someone else is feeling worse than me as i speak. therefore i'm going to be strong, because everything will pick up after this week. at least now i know how it feels to be at the end of unreasonability, for i have been unreasonable myself to start with. its good that i experience it now, so that i won't trouble people with it in the future.

being miserable is not cool. being not to help someone miserable feels even worse.

i only believe things will get better, and i just hope someone else believes in the same thing as me. i really pray i am not in this alone. if given a choice, i'll rather suffer everything alone, since i have been through worse shit.