i am deaf.

i really hate myself for being deaf. or rather half deaf. i simply can't make out mumbling or soft speaking. the thing is.. i can hear sounds.. but i cannot make out what they are (for eg. i can hear that a person is speaking but i can't make out what are they saying). its killing me.. can't get pple's names right in clubs, can't make out what they're saying in movies unless i stop, rewind, and play a few times. lol. i was so frustrated i slapped my ear a few times and i think i just made myself more deaf. its ringing like mad now.. worse than the aftermath of clubbing.

maybe i should get a hearing aid soon. sigh.