Rainy night in Mannheim

Sleepless again, I reflect.
The fragility of life, I neglect.
The value of words, I suspect.
The worthiness of actions, I inspect.

Pay it forward, I cried.
Pay it forward, I tried.
Pay it forward, I denied.

I read
"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

Am I the fisherman?
Or am I the fish?

Cynical, I don't want to be.
Cynical, yes I am.

A choice, yes I have.
But the flesh is willing, mind's weak.

Apprehensive, I am
the next time we speak.
But maybe, just maybe,
Everything's gonna tick.

The secret, I just watched.
The law of attraction, it taught.
The power of the mind, I am shocked.
My own bloody mind, I must contort.

Pay it forward, I cry.
Pay it forward, I try
Pay it forward, I will try.